Through the Eyes of a Vagrant

To begin, this is a long entry. I’ve been thinking about this one for a couple weeks now and this is the final solidification of such thoughts. If you are going to read this one, grab a beer.

Well, the time to give my decision to recontract is fast approaching and I really wish I had more time to analyse my situation. I believe I’ve made my decision but to solidify my declaration I’d like to weigh out the pros and cons to add basis to my argument.

I’ve split the following into two more categories since I believe it would be unfair to lump the two together. I’ll begin by weighing the pros and cons of JET and then afterwards the pros and cons of Japan itself.

JET

Pros:

- My BOE is absolutely awesome. If I have a problem they take care of it. From bills to problems with everyday life, they are on top of it and do everything they can to keep me happy and in the know. Because of them, I don’t have to pay any rent for my apartment, and they’ve given me 40 extra holidays to travel Japan during the student’s winter and summer vacations. Also, instead of having to head to the BOE after classes are finished for the day, they just let me go home (so long as I use that time to study Japanese).

- I’m a super hero in the schools. When I go into a classroom, the students faces will brighten right up and they will sometimes clap and cheer.

- As for living in Japan, JET gives me enough money to live comfortably.

- My money is tax free since I’m exempt from Canadian tax while I’m here.

- I have serious job security as the BOE has already expressed its intention of having me recontract 4 more times.

Cons:

- When you get here you have to give self-introduction lessons for two whole months. If I were to stay for another year, this would mean going through two more months of self-introduction lessons. By the end, you feel almost violated because after their completion, everyone you work with and all your students know a fair chunk about you. Yet, at the same time, you know very little about them. One begins to wonder if they make jokes about you when you aren’t listening.

- I am totally unneeded at work. If I were not there the teachers I team teach with could just teach the lessons themselves and life would go on. I was hired to increase the conversational abilities of the students, but, any positive effect I might be having on them has yet to be seen. JET has been in existence for 20 years and I’d imagine that others have thought the same way I do and have tried to influence the students since that time. Yet, if you were to walk down the streets of Japan and ask something to anyone in English they would just respond with, “I don’t understand English.” Japanese have studied English on average for about six years while in school. Compare this to the four years I have studied Japanese and my ability to speak beyond everyday conversation, and you can see why I’m depressed. My presence here is just a band aid solution and is doing nothing to improve the student’s English.

- I am not treated like a teacher, but as a tool, and one that is hardly used to its full potential. In many classes, for example, after I give a short speech on Halloween, the teacher will often just tell me to return to the teacher’s room; my usefulness has dried up and they no longer need me for the rest of the class. Other times they’ll just cancel my classes because the students are writing exams or the teacher just forgot to work me into their plan for the day. A couple times, I’ve even been replaced by a tape recorder!

- Often, teachers will come up to me five minutes before class and ask me if I have any ideas for that day. Talk about short notice. Sometimes, they’ll even turn to me in class and say, “We have ten minutes left. Can you do something with the students?” as if I can just magically whip something out of my bag of tricks that suits the lesson they just taught.

- My remuneration may be enough to live comfortably in Japan, but in Canada it translates to something just over the poverty mark

- I asked to be placed close to my friend Anna. Instead they placed me 900 kilometres away from her. I am incredibly isolated with only one other foreigner in my city. I understand that they can’t guarantee a placement, but do you think they could have maybe tried a little bit harder? Was being on the same main island together really that hard to ask?

Japan

Pros:

- Tax is included in everything and it’s only 5%. They don’t try to scam you with their prices like Canadian stores do.

- The service in Japan is great. When you go for a haircut, they really give you the works, for the exact same cost it would be for a normal haircut in Canada. When you ask someone to get something done for you, whether it’s at the post office, or at an electronics store, they will literally run to complete the task. They don’t waste your time.

- You don’t have to tip for anything making taxi rides, restaurants, and hotels relatively cheap experiences. This is why Japanese people eat out often. And the funny thing is, even though you don’t have to tip them, their service is better as I have already mentioned above.

- Trains are wonderful in Japan. They are always on time and they are fast. The system is intuitive to use and is very efficient.

- Girls in Japan, in general, are a lot slimmer and much cuter than North American girls.

- The streets are very, very clean in Japan. You rarely see any garbage lying around on the streets or sidewalks.

- Bathrooms are generally very clean and are often decorated to be just like a washroom within your own home. If they have a western toilet it usually has many wonderful features such as a bidet and heated seats.

- Most things in Japan are automatic, such as taps, dryers, and doors which result in a more sanitary environment

- Technology is far better here. I was blown away by all the features that a cell phone in Japan has that the one I had back in Canada didn’t.

- Musical instruments, cell phones, furniture and computers are all much cheaper in Japan.

- There are many more second hand stores where you can buy CDs, DVDs, furniture and games for really cheap.

Cons:

- I have one hell of a time trying to find clothes that fit me. The sad thing is Japanese style is so cool too. You only wish you could fit into them! Shoes here only go up to about 27 centimetres. At some stores you can find larger sizes but your selection will be extremely limited. Shirts mainly go up to LL here which is the equivalent of a Canadian medium. Pants rarely go over a waist of 85 centimetres.

- When I go out to the restaurant I can’t understand what is on the menu. Not necessarily because I can’t read it, but because they use so many ingredients that I’ve never heard of before. If I do indeed have allergies here it may be near impossible for me to narrow down the possibilities. Then there are always the Chinese characters that I can’t read either.

- Food at the grocery stores. Where to begin with this one? There are so many foods that I was so used to eating in Canada that I can’t find here, or if by happenstance I do find them, they are terrible (usually caused by the Japanese’s need to put their own spin on it), or they are horribly overpriced. A short list of foods that fall into these categories are: pizza, subs, cold cuts, chewy candies, olives, pickles, cheese, bread, pasta sauce, beef, cereal and popcorn. Everything in Japan has either mayo, rice or seafood in it. Sushi is very unlike sushi in Canada, with natto (fermented soy beans that look like mucus) sushi, to my regret, being the most popular kind of sushi in Japan. Pizza uses very untraditional toppings such as corn, breaded fish, shrimp, and mayo. I haven’t found pure ground beef yet. All the ground beef I have found is mixed with pork, usually in a 7:3 ratio. Bananas are usually in the black ripening phase and I have yet to see a green banana. Grapes are 900 yen a bunch and if you eat the skin of them you get sick. Pickles and olives are near impossible to find, and if you do find some at a foreign foods store, they usually go for 9 dollars for a small jar and they taste like garbage. There are no delis (at least in the Canadian sense) and all cold cuts are the non-fresh plastic wrapped garbage no one buys in Canada; the only cold cut you’ll be able to find is ham.

- Consequently, because the food is so different, my body still hasn’t adapted and I’ve been sick since I got here. Even after going to the doctor’s the medicine he gave me was for the birds. Even the examination that he gave me was Mickey Mouse.

- If you live in Japan you won’t be able to avoid squatters. One day, the western toilet will be out of order, be occupied, or not exist entirely. And when you’ve had that bad sushi and nature is calling quite loudly, it’s time to become immersed in this aspect of Japan with unrelenting force! For those that don’t know, a squatter is essentially a hole in the ground that you have to do your business in. It’s hard to keep your balance and you can’t sit down and relax (hence the term squatter). I also have no idea how to use a squatter without taking off your pants with my fear of messing them in the very awkward position you have to squat in to get things done.

- In most stations’ washrooms, they don’t have toilet paper. If you don’t have tissues with you, you’re in for one interesting experience.

- If you are a gaijin, you can’t get a loan in Japan. They will turn you down flat out and give you the excuse that they don’t have enough information on you.

- Information spreads like wildfire here. Everyone gossips. Whatever conversation a person has with you or whatever they see you doing will be the topic of the next conversation, no matter who they are talking to next.

- The banks close at 3pm and are open only from Monday to Friday when people are at work.

- To get anything done at a bank it takes forever, mainly because everything requires paperwork of some sort or is convoluted with the use of an inkan. An inkan is a personal seal that is unique to you, usually within your prefecture. Without this, major things such as automatic account withdrawals, applications for services, and the like, cannot be completed. A signature for most things in Japan is not enough and will be rejected. In a sense things are much more secure, but they take forever to process. It’s my theory that this is some kind of job creation. Also, banks often have internet banking, but the most use you can get out of it is checking your balance. You can’t actually pay bills online or anything, as per reasons I just stated regarding an inkan. The funny thing is, when you actually go to pay a bill, you normally don’t do it at a bank, but at a convenience store with teenagers as the employees. Yeah, cause who would have thought that a bank handled money matters? It’s nice trusting a student to process your $2000 plane ticket when earlier you were trying to teach them how to say how the weather is in English to no avail.

- There are no casinos in the traditional sense in Japan, just pachinko parlours. For some reason it seems to be the biggest form of entertainment in Japan. In my small town there are three huge pachinko parlours. Yet, there are no dance clubs or movie theatres to be found. I find pachinko boring personally as it is much akin to slots. You push a button and balls fall down. Yet these things are always packed (and full of smoke to boot). I just don’t see what’s so interesting about them. They are pretty noisy too and hurt my ears so I can’t stay in them for long.

- This is the land of martial arts and anime. But, I have yet to find an anime store that sells more than just manga and a small selection of anime videos. Also, the only martial art I know that is offered in my town is karate and it’s only on Wednesdays in the town’s only gymnasium. Even while wandering through Sapporo I have yet to find anything advertising martial arts, although I’ve been told it exists.

- All the chairs in Japan have really short backs to them. This place is a nightmare to anyone that has a bad back. If you sit down and try to lean back, you always find that the chairs end before the middle of your back and you either have it dig into your back or you hunch forward.

- Even though the streets are clean in Japan, you’d be hard pressed to find a garbage can anywhere. If you have garbage, you usually have to carry it with you until you get home.

- The garbage system in Japan is really tedious. In my house alone, I have six different garbage cans lined up in a row to separate the garbage into. Also, bags are transparent so everyone can see what you are throwing out, and if you haven’t sorted your garbage properly, the garbage police will come after you.

- Brand new CDs and DVDs are really expensive.

- Students can’t be forced to go to school or study (although most teachers do their best to get them to). A student can’t fail a grade; they will be bumped ahead to the next grade until the end of junior high school. To get into high school you need to get a decent grade on a standardized exam, however.

- I don’t understand dating here at all. When I was in Canada, not once can I recall ever getting a fake number. Yet here, over half of the ones I’ve received have been fake. On top of that, the dates that I have gone on have been fairly boring. And to further add insult to injury, even when I thought a date went really well, the girl never ends up calling your back, or starts throwing excuses at you to avoid you! I think “foreigners can get tons of women in Japan” is seriously a myth.

- I haven’t made a single decent Japanese friend since I’ve been here in Japan for the last three months. I have a Japanese keitai (cell phone) but the only ones to call it are usually my Canadian friends that came with me and now live in other far off parts of Japan. People say they are your friend, but then never call or invite you to anything.

- The two-facedness of the Japanese makes me sick. Waitresses and cashiers put on a fake high voice to make themselves seem more polite.

- Japanese girls are, in general, boring. Many put on too much makeup, wear stilettos half their height, walk bow-legged, have no breasts, and can be seriously dumb. I recall recently a ride back on the train and a group of four girls were talking about nothing but what was on a certain izakaya’s menu.

So altogether that’s 5 pros and 6 cons for JET, 11 pros and 20 cons for Japan. By numbers alone one can already see what my decision is leaning toward.

I started out fairly optimistically when I entered Japan but I’m having some major problems. They can be summarized as follows:

• I can’t get used to the food and can’t find clothes that fit me
• It’s difficult for me to get anything done because of the language barrier
• I don’t fit in and haven’t been able to make any friends
• I feel I don’t have a purpose in my job and could be making more money in Canada
• I miss my real friends and my family
• The things I enjoy about Japan are difficult to find

For these reasons, I have decided not to recontract and will be returning home in August. I just need to concentrate on saving my money, finding some things to do outside of work that I enjoy to take my mind off the lie that is called my job, and do by best to try and make friends with people from my own country since I haven’t yet been able to so with any of the Japanese. For those that wish to participate in JET in the future, heed my words – JET is not the wonderful experience that they would like to have you believe.

Now of course, this brings up questions of what I am to do with my future, but that’s a topic for a later post (but not too late, I’m running out of time!)